She is not your ‘World Cup’

Back in 2012, when I had my first break up, it was evidently the most painful phase of my life, back then. To add salt to my wounds, she flew to Texas to complete her graduation and I was left behind in India to complete mine, following the Engineer -à MBA route. 2012 through 2014, is when I sobbed, grieved, became an estranged, disillusioned ex boyfriend and mailed her to take me back into her life. Until one day, I received a mail from her father to back off unless I want serious repercussions.

That is how I moved away from her life, but not away from her thoughts, though.

As time passed by, I came across many wonderful women. Many of which were OOL for me, hence I never dared to talk or make a conversation with them during my graduation. Eventually, I observed the couples around me. Just like the adage goes, they seemed happier to me and I seemed happier to them. I used to see them going to parties, dinners, malls together and making an effort to spend most of their times together.  During that time, even my best buddy was committed; hence I could see a committed boyfriend through his life and observed how much life changes for a person when he gets committed to someone.

Faces changed, phases changed and so did relationships. People were the same but they were either flocking alone or flocking with different people now. It was all within the span of couple of years. I used to wonder:

How could someone so easily forget whom they love so much? How is it that all the moments that they once shared are now dusted off and people get replaced so easily? What about their exes and what if they still love and admire each other? Why do people move on easily?

I used to spend days wondering on this since I wasted two years of my life literally clinging on to someone who took barely one week to move on from our relationship.

(I really have an alternative for this word! In a later post!)

One day, while I was thinking about this and sipping water from my coffee mug at the top of my terrace, I saw a flock of birds hovering across the sky. I wondered;

Where are they all going to? Why are they flocking together? How do they decide with whom they wish to fly? What about their homes, families and parents?

The flock of birds gave me the answer to my previous queries. I realized love was never about holding people back in your life, when they themselves don’t wish to stay any further.

The flock of birds, floating across, has left their kith and kin. No matter how much they were tied to the knot, they had to leave for a greater purpose, a greater good!

When two people are in love, they spend the most beautiful times of their lives together. Exclusive yet long-lasting memories! Nobody wants to end any relationship, but, sometimes it is just not meant to last forever.

Even Chelsea did not stay with Charlie forever!

But, that never stopped Charlie from caring about Chelz. Neither the other way around! To be put in a fair way, two people when love each other actually want them to be happy! Even after separation, each other’s happiness remains the concern! Holding back old memories and holding back grudges only harm us, sometimes, the both of us!

Seeing someone whom you have loved and shared excellent memories with, having a beautiful life, even though you are not with her, is the final redemption for you!

In some parallel universe, you are still trying to get her back! I never discourage doing that, but never at the risk of losing the love and the respect that you shared for each other. Overdoing it results in grief, sorrow, bitterness and undoing every good memory you shared.

Let us never forget, the woman you love, you will continue to love her, forever. You just have to learn to love her from afar! Don’t treat her like World Cup, treat her like your World!

And, who doesn’t want a happy world?!

It is not a race or a competition where she is the prize up for grabs! It is smooth sailing adventure, where both of you are kept alone amidst the huge ocean, through crests and troughs of the dancing waves, the universe asking both of you to make an effort and love each other during the duration of togetherness – RelationSHIP!