Let us have a pitcher of beer with our feelings!

There is this continuous struggle that I feel inside me and I believe everyone has faced this struggle. Immaterial of your looks, friend circle or even the bank balance (This is the second time I am using it in my blog, Damn! Obsession I guess!), there will be this relentless resentment inside us, that we are trying to run away from.

I have faced many such instances in my life, where I have failed to come to terms with how I am feeling. It has resulted in irrational outbursts, hyper activeness or even finding a silo for me to fight those emotions. There was no one to help me out at this time. I did have friends, but I refrained from opening up about this to them.

One day, I woke up and went to the mirror. In retrospect, it was the best decision that I took in my life. I asked myself:

“What is it that is bothering you? What is it that you are running away from? Are you scared? Are you alone? Are you sad about something? Please tell yourself! No one else, other than you can help yourself”

I know, for many it seems like a melodrama, but as long as it helps me, I really don’t care. It helped me to shape my life, in a better way. I opened up to myself, about my feelings. We have different insecurities, which we don’t want to face.

Suppose, you have gone to Ivy League colleges, been the one among the top percentile in your batch. But, due to certain health issues, you could not get employed or abandoned your job.

No matter how gruesome your excuse is you cannot shut the criticism around you, trying to prove that you have failed!

Every time, you are trying to run away from this fear that may be you will scrutinized about your failure. You miss important events, get into a shell, walk away from people and also your life.  

Why?

It is because you are not facing your fear! You are not facing that emotion that is questioning your integrity and your hard work! You are not facing your criticism!

I have face my demons! I have had a pitcher of beer with them! I have learnt to admit, yes! I have failed to hang on to people whom I have loved, comfortable jobs and eventually, I have worked hard on myself. I have known my lacunae, hence I took the responsibility of my life, by not running away from my emotions, rather facing them, accepting them and fixing them!

 If I had a chance to say a five year younger me something, I would have just said him,

Face your insecurities, either you will improve upon them or you would just let them be as they are, at least you will know yourself!

That’s all for the day!

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Cheers!